It’s already winter, and in the season when all the prosperity is withered

Meeting you was so accidental.

It’s already winter, and in the season when all the prosperity is withered, our feelings are also drifting away in this depressed season along with the fallen leaves. When I write this text, I can hardly control myself. I often feel that my heart is hurting. When I think of you, when I think of us together, my heart, the tide rushes to my throat, and I almost spit out blood. I’m nineteen years old and I’m 182 tall. I thought I was an adult when I graduated from high school. It was this summer that I left my student life. On July 31st, I met you. From then on, you walked into the life of my first love, which is also an emotional journey that I must go through. Therefore, I am happy, painful, trembling, excited, cautious, sweet and inexplicable.

It was a clear summer morning, when the green leaves bloomed in the air with full of youthful life, that day was your birthday. You asked me to be there, and left your home address on the Internet. That day, I arrived as promised. That was also our first meeting. Love came to me quietly at that moment.

At that moment, when I saw you, a girl with long hair floating in the air, came out of the corridor, I bumped into your eyes inadvertently, and my face became hot. I am a shy boy. I don’t know what it’s like to like someone, but at that moment, the moment my eyes avoided you, I suddenly experienced the sweet panic.

Your home is very clean. The spacious three-bedroom and two-living rooms are furnished with elegance and elegance by you. We chatted and laughed together, I tried my best to let myself be unrestrained, boys, I can’t be cold, so I behaved naturally and generously, I am a young man, everyone will be familiar with it after a while. Then, for your birthday, we sang happy birthday, lit colorful candles for your birthday on that beautiful cake, watched you shyly make a silent wish in the candlelight, and puffed up your cute little cheeks to hold the candle Blowing out, I suddenly felt that watching your every move is so interesting, alas, the feeling of being a boy, I know, when I think you are interesting, you are not simply interesting but cute in my heart.

You like Jay Chou’s songs, so we turned on the computer and listened to his wonderful music coming from the rotating records. At that time, we were all intoxicated. I saw your rosy face overflowing with joy, and I dare not look at your water Barking eyes, I am lazily sitting on the sofa, as if I am watching TV, but my heart has already flown to you, I feel your happiness, I am happy with your happiness, I think of a song, ” “Holding Hands” Oh, I really want to hold your hand, hold you, and walk through this life.

You treat me at noon, and we went to Liu Naixi Noodle Shop to buy two ramen noodles and Coke to eat with you. In fact, I don’t have the habit of sharing meals with strangers, let alone the girl in front of me is a girl who makes me flustered. Picking up the ramen, I didn’t eat a few bites, you said you don’t want to eat, my God, I’m still very hungry, but if you don’t eat, I will put down my chopsticks, I don’t want to continue my meal under your gaze. The noodle war, refused to make a fool of yourself in front of you.

After watching TV for a while in the afternoon, I started to make origami cranes for you. Square paper with colorful patterns and dark flowers has different colors. Thousands of paper cranes symbolize auspiciousness and blessings. Every time I fold one, I will silently say a word of blessing. ,Happy birthday! You looked at me intently, but I didn’t dare to look up at you, and then you said that you taught me, I don’t know how happy I am, I teach you carefully, you study seriously, in the hand-in-hand correction and teaching, two young My heart is getting closer unconsciously, I suddenly feel that I like you very much, I see your watery eyes looking at me, the clear and bright light in those eyes is like a lake in early summer, bright and warm, clear and sparkling . I know, you should like me. Please tell me, alas, why I love so painfully.

The two of us sat on the sofa opposite the TV, and then, I felt you leaning against me on the sofa cushions, I was so nervous, so I kept saying, it’s time, it’s time, your mother is going to get off work , I should go now. Hey, I was so incomprehensible, but at that time my face was very hot, my body was very dry, I didn’t dare to move, it was stiff and so unnatural, my heart was sweet, but I didn’t dare to think about other things.

You pouted your lips, looked at me, and murmured, “Then are you coming tomorrow?”

I said, if you want.

That was the first time we met, and we were already so reluctant to part with each other.

In those days, the sky was very blue and the clouds were very light. The doves spread their white wings and flew over the city. The white feathers of the bright wings were reflected into shining spots in the sunlight, which pierced my eyes. It hurts, but when I look at all this, I feel so beautiful. I almost sang with ease, it’s good to be young, it’s good to be in love.

The second time I saw you was still at your home.

You still lean on me to watch TV like last time, the cushion is between us, it will slide away after a while, so I have to keep adjusting its position. So I was a little impatient, and I didn’t know when, I mustered up the courage to remove the cushion between us, and you shyly snuggled into my arms gently.

Hehe, this is the first time we are so close, my heart is beating too fast!

You said, Weizi, I’m going to Qingdao to study.

I know.

I hug you gently, it feels so comfortable, and I feel very happy and satisfied in my heart. I was thinking, are you going to leave so you don’t want to part with me? I also thought, don’t go any further. After all, it’s the second time we met… I deliberately stared at you, and finally induced you to ask me, Why do you always look at me, what’s so interesting, I muttered “I, I, I… want to kiss you” in a low voice than a mosquito humming, so you asked, what did you say. I thought, Tch, you obviously heard it, but you still pretended not to hear it. So I got closer to you, intentionally frightened you and said, I want to kiss you, while intentionally leaning forward, you see how scared you were, you said no! ha! How dare you say no! If you dare to say something, kiss me! Maybe I will be frightened by you, but you actually said no. So I will scare you once in a while, and kill your prestige. So you asked me, why do you want to kiss me so much, I said, I do!

In the end, you were the one who kissed me first. Hmph, I can’t kiss you, but you kissed me first. You are so gentle, slowly leaning over, your two small lips touched me lightly, you tug! Kiss me.

I’m not willing to let you take advantage of me, so I started to fight back, and you just hid from me with a smile. Finally once my lips touched you, you feigned anger. I don’t think I can bully you anymore, otherwise I will be miserable if you get angry… But at this time, you gently closed your eyes, I was stunned, then suppressed my heartbeat, and slowly kissed your lips… …

The taste of first love is so beautiful, the pure kiss is so sweet, so sweet, the happiness in my heart is indescribable, my heart is beating suddenly, and the corners of my eyes are so soft that I can’t open them.

Then you are going to Qingdao to go to school. But you said you don’t want to go, I’m happy if you don’t want to go, I know you don’t want to part with me. To be honest, how have I ever been willing to part with you? I think that if you love someone, you have to treat her like a relative, don’t you?

I ask you “Why don’t you want to go to school, because of what?”

You looked at me and moaned unhappily, “No reason”

I said, “Why don’t you go?” I knew in my heart that you didn’t want to leave me, but I just wanted to prove it.

So your answer came, and you said angrily, “For a pig, a stupid pig!” Hey, I can’t stand looking at your cute appearance, just look at you, and you become like this, puffing out your cheeks, The pouting look is so cute, I can’t help but pull you over, and kiss you hard on the tip of your little nose!

This is good, even my name on your QQ has been changed to “Benzhu”, and you, hehe, changed to “KISS Bungy”.

However, you never knew how deep my love for you is, just because you don’t want to leave me to go to school, I decided to accompany you to Qingdao to study in university, I am willing to take care of you, because you are so attached to me, and how have I ever no? ! At that time, I had a falling out with my family. In a sense, I was still a child who had just graduated and was not self-reliant. I wanted to work part-time to take care of you in college, and my family naturally strongly opposed it. And I betrayed my relatives and my family, I packed my backpack and never looked back. I already love you so deeply, the simplicity is as clear as white water, if I love you, I must be responsible to you! At that time, I couldn’t extricate myself…

Everything was so sudden.

These days, my mood is so easily agitated, like a flood that is ready to go. The rain kept falling, and love was weak like a flower soaked by rain. You didn’t go to college, and you finally decided not to go to the college that needs to be paid for by yourself. You stayed, and then told me This thunderbolt news, you said, being with me is so boring, you want to break up with me.

What’s wrong with me, what did I do wrong, then, please tell me, please? Let me know, I can change. Could it be that they broke up just like this for no apparent reason, so short and hasty, that I didn’t have time to shake off the sprout of love that I just started, and overturned me into the bottomless abyss!

I can’t believe that the scenes in front of me are so quietly performed to the end. Every couple in love doesn’t want to be the protagonist of bubble love. Who is happy that the person they love is so erratic and unpredictable? Am I just you A passing moment in your life?

Do you love me?

do not love!

I can’t express it in words, and it is impossible to express it. I am such an introverted boy. The fragility of a boy is not on the surface. No matter how painful the heart is, I can’t cry! There is a song “Sad Heart, Does It Pain?” I don’t know if you have ever been in pain or loved? My heart is bleeding, I can’t accept this sudden breakup, you cut my heart randomly with a blunt knife, this pain makes me want to die, want to cry without tears. Your words keep echoing in your mind, “Do you think you are suitable for me?!”

I didn’t have a chance to catch my breath at all. You let my head go “buzz” – are you asking me? I couldn’t believe my ears, I couldn’t believe my eyes, I suspected that there was something wrong with my reaction, and my mind suddenly became a blank wall. What do you mean by that? This sentence echoed and circled in my ears and became a huge sound. What does it mean? Why can’t I understand it? God! ! …Ranzi, every word of yours is repeated in my head, stabbing my sensitive and fragile heart. I don’t know how to answer and deal with this harsh sentence that can drive me crazy. Is it true that feelings So vulnerable to a single sentence? ! You won, just like that I was defeated by your rhetoric without the slightest hypocrisy, and you hurt my heart that loves you purely and foolishly.

It was raining in the sky, and I raised my face to let the rain pour over my face wantonly, so I dared to let the tears flow happily with the rain!

That salty, bitter, taste, cemented the happy and sweet past, that unspeakable pain, that painful heart, that injured soul. Stumbling on the road, I was nineteen years old. I was supposed to enjoy the happiness and joy in love, but why did fate play tricks on me? ! Why? Am I just a doll that you don’t care about in your life? You have to let me understand the reason too! Is the love you once said so fragile? Could it be that fate makes us walk together but is easily broken? don’t want! Had I known this is the way it is now, I would rather not have met you, never loved you! How could you glance at me inadvertently, and then walk away freely, how could you reject a heart that loves you like garbage? !

What should I use to love you? What can I give you? Mine? ! No matter what comes, no matter what goes, you are a cloud in the sky, occasionally projected on my wave heart, I don’t need to be surprised, and I don’t need to be surprised. In a blink of an eye, you disappear. The poems of the ancients, all experienced Had the same sadness, the same pain? … Hold on to the short rush between coming and going, I have nothing without you.

I have heard such a story.

A little boy said to a little girl, if I have a bowl of porridge, I will give half to my mother, and the other half to you. From then on, the little girl fell in love with the little boy. Adults say, children know what love is. The little girl married someone else when she grew up, but when the little girl thought of that bowl of porridge, she knew that it was the most sincere love in her life!

I think my love will only stay with you. Every time I think of you, there are many things left for me besides sentimental…

No matter what you bring me is happiness or sadness, it is the poem line arranged by the fate of God. Thank God, let us have each other, thank fate, let us meet and love each other. Thank you Jinsheng for cuddling with you in the moment of happiness. With your company, the kindness of fate is enough.

My thoughts and feelings have been stuck in the days of being in love and refused to leave. I feel the cruelty of time passing after the breakup. I don’t want to be forgotten by you. The past, present, and future may not overlap. Please forgive me. , sweet tears.